


Colour me rosé

by Tarredion



Series: Phanfiction advent 2019 [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Attraction, Dehumanization, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Doubt, Dress Up, Drinking, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Getting to Know Each Other, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rich Phil Lester, Romantic Fluff, Self-Doubt, Sexual Content, Slut Shaming, Strangers to Lovers, Sugar Baby Dan Howell, Sugar Daddy Phil Lester, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:22:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21806590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarredion/pseuds/Tarredion
Summary: nineteen-year-old Dan Howell is looking for a sugar daddy to help him achieve the dream of luxury and romantic affirmations.Phil Lester, newly 24 and very rich, is searching for a romantic and sexual relationship.When stumbling upon the other on the internet, similar interests and all, have they found their match?
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Phanfiction advent 2019 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558750
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	1. transatlantic message

**Author's Note:**

> Not my usual content, I suppose..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan sends a message across the globe, for his new sugar daddy

Sitting in the lonely armchair in the now mostly empty apartment, with his feet pulled up to his chest in his cheapest pair of blue sweatpants, he scrolled down a feed matched to the search keywords. 

The site looked innocent enough. Innocent as a site like it could be if you didn’t read what all of the words across the screen said.

It could be mistaken for your average dating site, sure, but for the excessive statistics, accompanied by the listed professions typically being filled to the brim by people in the 95th to 99th percentile. Oh and all the profile pictures were very obviously professionally shot.

Dan was no stranger to scavenging for a sugar daddy.

He began not long after his eighteenth birthday, yearning for the luxury and expensive items his parents struggling economy had never been able to give him. Not that he didn’t appreciate them and his upbringing, nor was he lazy, but there had been something about being someone’s sugar baby that felt satisfying, emotionally and physically. Maybe it had something to do with his childhood emotional neglect, but did he know? No. 

Since he started Dan had had six sugar daddies, and none of them were remotely perfect, and for some he had been a throwaway toy for grumpy weekend nights, which he had not appreciated and left immediately. 

Just six months ago his bigoted father finally decided to kick him out of the house for good, once his parents divorce proceedings began, and he had tried his luck again. That time finding a sugar daddy that for a short while agreed to get the 19 year old an apartment.

Well, that short time was now coming to an end. The guy liked girls more and he had now found Dan’s replacement, meaning he only had the few days left in January to move out before he got the boot.

That’s how he ended up in this situation, browsing the sugar daddy / sugar baby matching site at 2 am, pushing his luck with the wealthy.

There was of course also the factor of wanting some companionship. He wasn’t entirely in it for the money, after all, and Dan’s plummeting confidence craved some affection and affirmation.

Yet his scrolling had became lazier and lazier over the last hour. Noone had any of the same interests as him, and most were just looking for sexual favors to spice up their boring (but well-paying) office lives, which they were stuck in despite being under the ripe age of 35.

Then a pair of bright blue eyes and genuine grin caught Dan’s eye from the feed. His face was handsome and hawklike, framed by a black fringe clearly in need of a professional haircut, but hot all the same. He clicked eagerly, itching fingers, on the profile to get a full descriptor of the contender.

_Philip Michael Lester, 24, Manchester_

Young? Check. Local? Check.

**_Average annual income:_** _£200,000 (£500,000 with filming)_

 ** _Net worth:_** _£_ _22,000,000_

Big income and thick wallet? Hefty check!

**_Profession(s):_ ** _Heir and offhands VP of Manchester Tech, film director, scriptwriter, writer, video editor, former BBC radio host_

 **_Degree(s):_ ** _Bachelor of Arts with Honours in English Language and Linguistics (York), Master of Arts in Video Postproduction with Visual Effects (York)_

Creative, successful, and educated? Big win!

**_Looking for:_** _♂_

 **_Relationship types:_ ** _Romantic and sexual_

 **_Relationship:_ ** _Monogamous_

So he wouldn’t be a ‘sidehoe’ or a throwaway? Great! 

**_Provides:_ ** _Apartment floor, access to mansion and exclusive resorts, all bills and expenses, repayment for services being fulfilled, contract with consensual rules for both parties, payment for professional company and pampering (butler, stylist etc.), affirmations and affection and romantic/sexual interests and activities, any additional agreements_

 **_Requirements:_ ** _Signing the contract, mutual agreement to contact and/or disengagement if breached, fulfillment of services, attending public events, retaining sexual and romantic interest_

Nothing was left to be desired there, all of his own needs could be met under those requirements. So far it seemed this Lester sugar daddy was a dream come true. 

**_Interests:_ ** _Video games, modern movies, Buffy, playing with dogs, writing and reading, wasting away on the internet_

Well, was he a literal dream guy? Yes. 

Dan scrolled all the way down to the bottom of the page, where the contact information for each profile was listed. Within seconds he had an application typed out, crammed with compliments for Philip. He hoped dearly it’d go down well, and hit send.

The description had said it could take a couple of days for a response, since the guy was in the middle of his late birthday celebrations, but he didn’t mind. It gave him extra time to make himself more presentable, online and in real life, for their initial meetup.

\- -

Phil was lounging by the resort’s pool in Florida while working on editing a video when he got the notification for the application.

Had he not grabbed the laptop in the very last second it’d have fallen hard onto the tiled concrete, exploded in a burst of sparks from the contact with water, and then slid into the pool with a rather embarrassing scene unfolding around him.

The initial shock of the cute, pouting face popping up next to his editing software left rather quickly, to be replaced by a warm wave of attraction swirling in his chest. Browsing the profile of the young man going-on-20 did more than just convince Phil of his attractivity and genuinity, but also sent an immediate confirmation across the Atlantic to the local British boy.

Daniel, he had decided, was going to be his one stop for a sugar baby, and hopefully something more. Eventually.

Dan’d be pampered, he’d be spoiled, and Phil wouldn’t have to put up with his distant relatives nagging him about getting married. No, he knew that at some point in the future, the two of them would have an established relationship. He just knew, and maybe it was his psychic powers speaking to him, like his grandmother had said they would, in the foreseeable future.

For now though, he should continue to enjoy his vacation, without getting distracted by that brown mane. Well, as best as he could try, at least. The itching in his bones told him he couldn’t wait to meet him.

Taking another sip of the sweet radioactive cocktail, Phil closed the lid carefully and set the device aside.

Professional sugar daddy. Not a title he had ever imagined putting on his resumé, despite his wealth. And now he had his own sugar baby, and a handsome, attractive one at that. Wicked.

  
  



	2. silken sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil sees Dan into his new home

It was not one second past eight o'clock when the lavish ride pulled up as planned to his old apartment, greeting Dan who stood there in the semi-darkness bearing the one suit that hadn’t been moved to his new housing estate.

The matted green matched his eyeshadow and lipstick, both of which he had applied just for this moment. He wanted to look as good as possible, to make a wonderful impression on Phil (as he liked to be called rather than Philip), and make him genuinely delighted for his appearance. With his appearance.

The driver, who greeted him with a smile and a friendly greeting, hoisted his single final suitcase and his backpack into the boot while he got himself seated in the front left seat. They were to drive from this complex just outside of London to Bedford Gardens in Kensington within the city itself. There the young Lester owned two properties next to one another, of which Dan would have one for his own use and one which he’d share with Phil as he already lived there.

Both of the properties were some of the most expensive in London, and had each seven bedroom suites and multiple other rooms. It was something he had been unable the imagine he’d see one and a half years ago when he first began to look for a sugar daddy.

Grey skies and the slight rain which had been going on and off all day flew away as they rolled up on the road with the houses. Sundown light replaced it, casting the top of the red brick in a golden and pink glow, while the lower halves sat in dazed orangy tinted shadows.

Dan waved goodbye to the driver, who’s name was Perkins, as he drove off and then found himself alone, and despicably nervous, by the front door.

His palms were sweaty as he reached up to knock on the door, on his third try. He felt flustered and rather nervous, for what if Phil didn’t like him! What would he do then!?

The second the shrill knock echoed underneath the newly lit street lamps he took a step back as it flew open, and a messy haired man greeted him.

His eyes were blue, green, and yellow, radioactive sparks sitting high upon his face.

Dan could feel his quipped breath release, just as the fleeting giggle of nervosity escaped over the pink and plump lips of Mr. Lester. His hand had nipped at the back of his fine semi-casual dress shirt, and suddenly Dan felt flustered for being rather overdressed.

“H-hi Daniel..” Phil stuttered, still rather red in the face. It made him feel tingly to think they were both just as nervous as the other.

\- -

Dan looked breathtaking, and that was the only thought swimming in Phil’s head. His green eyeshadow and lipstick was perfectly matched to his suit, and now he himself felt rather dumb and underdressed, seeing how he was meant to be the one with a load of money and a good reputation. He hoped and wished his impression wasn’t lowered into its grave, and that Dan didn’t think less of him, at least not so low that he left.

The very least he could be thankful for was that Daniel didn’t turn around the second he saw him, and the feeling of being underdressed left the very second a breathy response escaped his lips. 

Then a wet pair of lips attached lightly to his blushing cheek for just a second, making it burn even more, and the starstruck waves that hit him made him feel seasick, in a good way, if that was even possible.

The giggling stature attached himself to Phil’s arm, and with a couple of more exchanged phrases they went inside, bodies pressed comfortably together.

As they entered the minimalist (after his baby’s request) living room on the first floor Dan let go of his arm, but let him rest his arm around his waist in an obviously possesive way. The physical contact was unusual for him, with his business meetings and professional events and busy life, yet it somehow felt entirely natural to do this with his baby, even if they just met.

“So, I suppose this is my prize then, Mr. Lester.” said Dan, with a small smile. Then he leaned in particularly close, which sent shivers down his spine as he whispered. “Baby says thank you, daddy.”

Feeling too flustered by the nickname to respond, Phil simply let his fingers rub gently on the small of Dan’s back, who began to purr softly as he nuzzled up and into the crook his neck. His hair, very lightly frizzed and undone from the previous rain, dripped small and wet crystal droplets down his neck. It chilled the heat spreading across his chest very slightly.

Then it shook him that Dan must be freezing from his outside endeavours, and that he couldn’t possible let him be in such turmoil. 

“I’ll show you the master suite and the location of the bathroom so you can get yourself warmed up, hm?” Phil said, and he could feel a light nod turned against his neck. “Come on baby..”

He led Dan by his hands, through the house and up a set of stairs. The bedroom was on the left side and the bathroom inside it. An office was a few steps down the hall to the right, and another bedroom and a drawing room furthest down on the other end of the hall. 

As he led him inside Phil could feel the soft and quiet breaths heat up his neck, and a small lump grew in his throat. The closeness evoked wonderful emotions in him but at the same time it felt almost like he was taking advantage of Dan by having him resting on him, so he created a very slight distance between them just before they reached the king size bed.

A small whine escaped his lips at the lack of contact and it did something to Phil.

Stopping dead in his tracks, he raised Dan’s arms slightly so he’d be able to let go easier, and then he turned his warm face towards the younger one.

“I’ll have you get yourself settled, alright?” he asked. “I’ll sleep in the guest room down the hall for the night just if you need anything, baby.”

Dan mumbled something incomprehensible back, but didn’t pull back this time when Phil let go completely, and as he left silently he watched him sink gently onto the foot of the bed.

“Night night Dan…” he whispered as the door clicked shut behind him. He hoped the night would be short and peaceful, for the both of them.

\- -

He listened drowsily to the footsteps echoing away over the wooden floorboards. He’s too tired to call out, and also expected it to be seen as quite rude if he did, but the longing that tugged at his heart is too much to bear. He wanted Phil to stay, and he wanted to crawl up into the soft sheets with his warm and lanky body pressed up to him.

Mulberry silk sheets. That much had already been disclosed to Dan. They were certainly wonderful at the touch and you could smell the luxury along with the wash.

But right now baby needed a shower as much as he needed his daddy, and so he rose silently, making his way into the bathroom.

The whole room was black and white marble, some silver and some gold popping up, and in the middle sat a large hot tub and bathtub combination also made of the same material, with a big mirror behind it.

The shower had six taps and showerheads, and enough space to fit eight people. He was not surprised. It was the master bedroom after all. His very own bedroom, and if he really wanted to, and especially if Phil really wanted to, his daddy’s too, sometimes.

Underneath the warm, steaming water Daniel could feel his own face flush dark red as he thought of what his daddy could and probably (based on his suggestive messages and requests listed) wanted to do to him. At some point, he felt, he should probably make it known it was a mutual feeling. He didn’t want Phil to be scared of closeness.

Maybe he’d do that tomorrow, he thought, and then moved out of his washing routine to get dressed. A very fine chiffon robe and a pair of silk pajamas greeted him, folded gracefully over one of the chairs with white leather seats.

Once dressed he brushed his teeth and cleared his skin in one of the three sinks. It baffled him that there were so many, but he was glad it was something he was given.

Being pampered like this wasn’t entirely unusual for a regular sugar baby, of course, but still Dan felt like Phil cared a bit more than he had anticipated, especially with his presence being only a few doors down for Dan’s own safety and comfort.

His heart skipped a beat once he was snuggled up in the covers, surrounded by the darkness.

He was unsure if it came from being scared, or if his little crush was developing further from simple flutterings. It did not matter, for he had soon fought the urge to get up and crawl over to Phil, and had drifted off into sleep. Peacefully.

  
  



	3. hot breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's only the first 24 hours and Phil realizes he may be growing quite attached

Phil stirred under the gaze of sunlight, the sheets soaked from (thankfully) only sweat. His bones crackled and his body ached, from laying in an unfamiliar bed all night long, with his long legs curled up around him. Unlike the bed he had prepared for Daniel, the guest room down the hall had a rather small-sized accommodation, and it was not a comfortable fit for his lanky limbs.

Sure, he had debated staying in his baby’s bed, but at the same time he felt too courteous to intrude on Dan’s first night in a foreign place. Also, he’d have felt too awkward and embarrassed to listen in on Dan’s shower. 

And now Phil’s stomach was rumbling, hunger returning as he woke. After a longer moment of laying and stretching, like a large cat, he let his feet fall gently onto the carpeted floor.

He pulled on a dress robe of silk, before pulling away the curtains and leaving the room quietly, wearing only a pair of boxers underneath. 

The halls were silent, and he supposed Dan had yet to wake for his door was closed. 

Phil admitted to himself it was rather strange to lurk with his ear pressed against the door, listening for any sounds of movement or any sounds from him, so he retreated downstairs into the kitchen with a tepid face and a rather visible blush, even in the dim light.

The wide windows on the ground floor let in a large amount of sun, even in the morning hours. Phil put on an apron and turned on the stove in an instant, determined to make something nice to make his baby feel welcome.

A soft jazz tune snaked itself from the speakers, making him hum and sway softly side to side as he prepared the dishes. 

He flipped the eggs and bacon over just in time for the signature metallic plop of the toaster to go off, and turned around for just a second to put the warm bread down by the condiments on the table. After placing a plaid cloth carefully over it he swiveled back around to continue chopping up fruit.

This continued on for a few minutes, before he was interrupted by a warm body pressed into his side, followed by consecutive warm kisses on his neck, making him blush feverishly and setting off sparkles in his tummy. 

It felt nice. This was nice. _Dan_ was especially nice, Phil decided. 

In the warmth and concentrated mindset he had not noticed the other’s entrance, but it did not bother him in the slightest to feel his presence so close. With a tug on Dan’s arm he made him let go for just a second, so he could put the final food down, and turn off the stove. 

Once he was done Dan slotted himself perfectly into his side again, this time letting and even encouraging Phil to wrap his arm around him in that possesive way he seemed to love.

Phil felt the lump in his throat loosen the second he did, as it seemed Dan was not scared of the closeness, and therefore he shouldn’t shy away from it and hide his feelings. Something he was glad for. He leaned his own head on top of his brown curls, as Dan nuzzled his face down and into his chest behind the loose fabric of the apron.

Taking in a deep breath to smell the musky mystique of Dan’s natural smell mingle with the expensive floral soaps and shampoos he kept, a small tingle rose within him. “You smell.. _really_ nice, baby.”

Dan giggled into a crease in his bare chest, lips wet on his skin as he pressed another kiss there afterwards. “So do you, daddy.” he whispered as he lifted his head, and immediately Phil could see a small blush had snaked itself up his cheeks from his neck, a pretty pale rosé. Then he spoke again. “So, where’s my cheque?”

He chuckled heartily, and began to steer them towards the closest chairs. “In your account in an hour. Though I suggest you sit and make yourself comfortable without the promise of money, Dan.”

But Dan did not. Instead, after reluctantly letting go of Phil, he stood silent as if rooted on the spot like a tree. He quirked an eyebrow at his baby, while he untied his apron, who didn’t respond until a few more seconds had gone by.

“Can I sit in your lap, daddy?”

He froze with one hand still on the hanger. His head went ice cold but he flushed still, and his pants felt rather tight and uncomfortable for a hot second. Sit? In his lap? Why was he asking such questions.

Yet.. who was he to refuse such an offer if they both wanted it?

“Yes of course, Dan.” Phil responded shakily, turning around, and as soon as he had taken his seat he patted his thigh, all while hoping the tightness wasn’t and wouldn’t be noticeable. He didn’t want to show so soon what such comment did to him, and he especially didn’t want Dan to feel uncomfortable.

Once the younger one had placed himself in his lap, they began to eat to their heart’s content, which turned out to not do much good for his faint hardness.

Dan moaned with every breath after every bite, and while usually Phil’d have taken that as a compliment on his cooking skills, it now made every part of his body go rigid and tepid. He hoped Dan didn’t notice it, especially now, though that could be thrown out the window seeing how he giggled after a few minutes, and increased his pace. 

Eventually he was even moaning _daddy_ and _Phil_ shakily at any moment he could, meaning it wasn’t just his usual reaction to food, at least not anymore. Every few seconds or so, he’d grind down on Phil’s lap, and the softness of his plump ass would jiggle while he moved and then mold itself around his boner.

Dan was making a game out of making him hard (as if he wasn’t already), and Phil wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to hold the control of his limbs and consciousness in his own hands.

Phil didn’t think much for the next couple of seconds, determined to keep any dirty thoughts out of his head for now. 

With time Dan stopped gliding, and soon his moans were a distant, hazy memory, as hunger seemed to have gripped him rather tightly and he was now chewing rather intensely. Before his silky voice pulled him out of his head, Phil gazed longingly at a particularly adorable freckle on his now rather flushed face, and tried to calm himself.

“How was it, Phil?” Dan asked, still rather out of breath. 

How it was?, Phil thought. Well, he was going to have a significantly increased number of wet dreams in the foreseeable future, that was for sure.

They shared a significant number of giggles afterwards, and Dan eventually retreated back to his room once he was done with actually eating, while Phil got dressed, and then they shared a final kiss before he left the house to go to a meeting regarding his new script.

His mind was occupied by a lot more than business and filmmaking, that was for sure. 

\- -

The pillow smelled of heaven and soap, and a bit of the lingering smoke from breakfast.

Dan’s face was still burning, and he tried his very best to push it and the squeals into the sweaty fabric. He couldn’t believe himself already, but he certainly couldn’t believe what his impulses had lead to. It wasn’t like he had intended to ask Phil _that_ , but his act of kindness really set something warm off in Dan’s chest, and he couldn’t stop his reeling brain.

He had just spat it out, before he could think, and Phil snapped up on the offer before he could ponder on taking it back.

That was the funniest and most exciting part of it all.

The bubbling feelings of excitement rose in his chest again, and Dan let out a grinning giggle into the soft fabric, tempted to bite into it and tear it apart. It had been a few hours since Phil left for his work, mumbling into Dan’s hair in the hallway about nothings and everythings. He still felt the tingles dancing on his scalp, and they made him even more giddy than the incident at breakfast. 

The intimacy of it all was something he cradled gently in his arms, and he fell asleep to the thoughts of peppering Phil’s face with kisses, despite his growling stomach. Food could certainly wait for this fantasy.

\- -

The London sky was blue and bright when Phil was finally allowed to leave the corporate building. The meeting had gone well enough, even with his absent responses and the thoughts of Dan’s sunkissed body intruding, and the filming of the movie would start in only six weeks. This meant he’d have to leave for Wales for quite some time, and he had quickly decided that he’d have to spend his limited time with his baby more carefully leading up to the trip.

At one point, maybe he could even come up and visit…

Phil continued to traverse the crowded streets as he pondered over his options. He didn’t want to leave Dan for too long, as he was growing very attached to him, and at the same time he didn’t want to restrict Dan by bringing him with him. 

Secrecy shrouded the project, and so that would potentially put strain on their relationship, even if he went with. Phil really did not wish for Dan to begin having doubts so early on, seeing how he himself felt not only a strong connection to the younger one, and a yearning, but also like this was the one person he could spend the rest of his life with.

He shook the thoughts off once he realised that might sound a bit pretentious, so early on.

The loudness of his boots on the asphalt held him grounded. He passed flashing neon lights hanging from many shop’s windows, and the smell of every kind of food in the whole wide world. From above the afternoon light shone on him.

Listening to his grumbling stomach for once, Phil stopped in a starbucks to make up for skipping lunch for the meeting, exiting not many minutes later with a pastry in his mouth and holding a bag of them alongside two cups of coffee. One for him, and one he’d gotten without a second thought, for Dan. 

He’d found out how Dan liked his coffee at breakfast, and decided it was good to get used to putting the knowledge to use. Even if he blushed a bit when he told the cashier his order, for it made him think back to what also happened at breakfast.

The wind had picked up a bit while he was in the shop, which wasn’t too unusual for London, and still he cursed himself as it tugged on his navy blue suit. It was biting cold, and of course he had left his coat at home.

Home. The place he had spent his night at was Dan’s residence, and that’s where his coat was at. He was already calling their shared space home, and it hadn’t even been 24 hours yet.

Phil shook his thoughts away _again_ as he walked, his face red and numb from both the chilly air and his creative, _imaginative_ head.

When he got back inside the familiar brick walls he had spent so long decorating to Dan’s liking, he found the place silent and seemingly empty, but for a distant sound of faint humming. For a moment he just stood there in awkward silence, shifting from foot to foot in the hallway he really should call his own, before going inside.

Setting the paper mugs down on the low and matt black sofa-table, Phil moved into the kitchen following the steadily rising sounds of his baby’s soft and smooth singing voice. It set of a spark of endearment in his chest, one which surprised him, but also wasn’t _surprising_ in a way. He was glad that he felt it, because he really wished their daddy-baby dynamic could blossom into something more, something more reliable, and something not at all dependant on money. The mutual giddiness was a sign of that, so he hung onto it for dear life.

Dan’s dark curls came into his vision, framing his soft and chubby cheeks, which were rosy in the heat of the stove. His hair was rimmed with sweat, as well, and that one pigtail curl stood astray. As Phil stepped up close to his back, he swiped it away with a gentle whip of his hand.

A yelp escaped across his baby’s plump and chapped lips, and he stepped away from him with a shocked face, before blushing furiously and letting Phil melt into his back once more, once he realised it was him.

“‘m sorry..” Phil mumbled into his frizzly nape, then lifting his head and tilting it, placed a light peck in the tail of his wild hair, before burying it back into the warmth and peach fuzz again.

He could hear Dan’s bright smile in his voice when he shooed the apology away, and then he felt his warm hand clasping around his wrist.

“I’ll need you to move for a second so I can get the stir-fry off the stove.” he chuckled, and Phil pulled himself away reluctantly, a pout on his face. To occupy his wandering hands he poked Dan’s deep dimple as he moved past him in his rush, making those homestead smiles on their faces grow so wide the crinkles on Phil’s eyes rendered him unable to see. 

The distant and yet so close whisper of Dan’s honey voice reached his ears. “We’ll have the hot chocolate.”

Phil agreed immediately, as Dan had certainly suspected him to, going by his face. It wasn’t like they had occupied each other’s space for twenty-four hours, but like they had been ruling the other’s universe for a thousand years. And he liked that. A lot.


	4. London stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> four days after his baby's arrival Phil reluctantly has a night out with gross, boring businessmen, and they hold even grosser conversations - all he wishes for is to cuddle Dan instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sexual harassment mentions, vomit, alcohol, and swearing

_Celebration_ by _Kool & The Gang _ thudded the speakers in the dim, shabby pub, but no matter how much Phil liked the song a normal day, the quality of the equipment and the bitter atmosphere around him ruined it for him tonight, almost as much as it distorted the sound in general. He swallowed down his bitterness and the droning conversations about business going on around him with a chug of gross, sticky, and _very_ sweet beer. It wasn’t to his taste, and still it was all that he could use to take his mind far away. 

Far away was to Dan’s arms, unfortunately, as Phil wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that he wanted the two tan, thick and strong limbs to hold him. 

Phil hated ‘nights out with the boys’ as they’d be called, probably (he didn’t really pay attention to that part, he wasn’t kidding when he said he had a hatred for them), and especially when it was with the 40-or-50-something-plus CEOs and businessmen he shared no common interests with. Who’d rather talk about their ‘hot’ female employees or the stock market all night. 

Actually, scratch that. Phil _loathed_ the whole experience, and today was no different.

Wishing he was home with Dan wasn’t complicated, no, he had actually done that all day, as well as _all the time_ since they met. What was more complicated, however, was staying grounded enough in the conversations until midnight so he’d actually have an excuse to slip away once the time came.

Being too eager would never leave a good impression, as his brother would always tell him, and he supposed that tonight it went in two directions. He shan’t intimidate Dan with that eagerness, and he shan’t sabotage the family business by being too eager to leave the oldies in the pub.

So Phil downed the rest of his drink while tuning back into the chatter next to him, just in time to feel and hear a particularly hard slap hit him in the back. He was glad the glass was empty, as he jerked forward on the stool, and that he still had reflexes sharp enough to catch it, because otherwise the suit’d have been ruined, or the barman covered in glass and blood.

A low and grimy voice next to him pulled him out of his head again. “Mr. Lester right here has hired a particularly voluptuous, sexy assistant, hasn’t he?” Phil grinded his teeth against each other, but found himself too stunned and disgusted to interject. At least he didn’t agree with the claims, and that was a good thing.

“Oh don’t say that!” another businessman exclaimed, but he still chuckled, despite his own comment. “It could be his wife for all you know!”

_As if that was the only time you shan’t talk about someone like that!_

Phil felt sick. Really sick. Like someone had dumped a fuckload of vinegar down his throat, and it was now swirling and rising from the depths of his stomach, corroding the walls of his organ with a particularly painful itch. No apologies for swearing on that one, and he was certain even his mum wouldn’t have minded it under her roof.

Tuning out of the conversation again, he could feel the taste of sour, bitter vomit rising uncomfortably in his throat, and it wasn’t just the beer. He’d never understood how people like them, people of power and most often men, could speak about other human beings like they were meat, but he’d never felt more disgusted with it than he did right now. And he was too much of a coward to speak, not without slurring his words or having his anxiety tell him he was making a fool of himself. It sucked, but his mind wouldn’t even let him pry his own lips open, let alone make a sound.

No, all he wanted right now was to get up and leave, so he did. The stool scratched loudly against the wooden floor, and he got a couple of looks from his accompaniers. They didn’t matter. He muttered something about fresh air as he dropped his glass and a tip on the table, and then he left. Walked straight out, and he found he didn’t care at all about the fact that their gazes were burning into his back. He felt them, but he _didn’t care._

The coldness of the air slapped him in the face when he reached the empty pavement, and he immediately began walking despite his immediate urge to cry. His footsteps sounded as distant as they felt, and with nobody around he couldn’t blame it on noise pollution.

That sour taste was still present in his mouth, even if his need to vomit was subsiding. He walked the whole way home, which took him almost an hour, but he didn’t mind. He needed to clear his head, and it’d also help if he wasn’t too emotionally grumbled by this when he woke up in the morning so he could report the guy to the bureau, properly.

Repercussion was needed, after all.

In moments like these Phil was glad they had established a no-tolerance-policy on sexual harassment and comments in the workplace earlier in the year. If something like this happened in his building, they’d be fired immediately, and this guy could get serious repercussions from the bureau and his own boss, even if this was ‘freetime’, since he wasn’t a CEO for a company. That part of the agreement still sucked, however, so he still sulked a little as he came up the street he had residency on.

Stars twinkled like crystals high above, small white lights on the blanket that was the dark London sky. The soft, orangey glow of the streetlamps was the only thing that lit up the red brick of the exterior of the house which made it look _homely_. His wristwatch showed it was just past midnight, and Phil only stopped to think when his key was halfway twisted in the lock, about to click if his instincts were right.

His stomach dropped a thousand feet, and he got a dry lump in his throat when he realised he hadn’t been about to enter his typical, empty house, but Dan’s. The one he’d lived in for the past few days.

Certainly it was for his own use, yes, as he owned it and was really just paying his baby to stay there, but it wasn’t like it was normal to come back here every night. He was meant to be here when Dan was awake, after all, and if he wanted to exchange his allowance for a favor. Not coming _home_ in the middle of the night, to snuggle up at free will with someone he had a proper connection with.

And certainly they couldn’t have moved that fast in these few days.

The whole _coming_ _home-_ thing would be moving too fast, he thought, and reluctantly pulled the key out the lock as silently he could. He hoped the endeavour wouldn’t wake Dan from his sleep, as he certainly needed it.

Phil spun around as fast as his thoughts were before he could feel the anguish from his actions. He cursed under his breath when he’d gone the few steps down to his actual front door, realising it was too late then to go back and _just exist_ in Dan’s space.

A cold shiver ran down his spine as he entered the stiff, silent, and remarkably lonely hallway after so long. Regret washed over him, but really, he had things to do in the morning, didn’t he? Weren’t they more important than being all romantic with someone he technically just met? 

And after all, he was tipsy. Things never were in his favor when he was drunk. And he especially didn't want Dan to feel uncomfortable by seeing and meeting the weird, emotional drunk Phil so early on. So, despite his quarrel and inner turmoil, Phil pulled off his shoes in the dark, went upstairs to his untouched bedroom, and snuggled up as soon as he hit the mattress. Still dressed in his suit.

He’d be cold all night if he didn’t sharpen up. His act, that was. And he didn’t mean it in a becoming-brave-enough-to-snuggle-up-to-Dan-way! Not at all! Even if his stumped heart only wished for it, and he knew that.

He shed too many tears onto his pillow that night.

He could only hope the hungover, still emotional Phil of tomorrow would forgive him for not doing anything stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have (potentially, depending on how long it gets) another chapter coming in the next three, four days! It might end up on the 'longer' side for this fic since I'm only in the introduction stages of the first pov... enjoy all the same!


	5. baby steps pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An invitation brings Dan to the heavens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been quite busy with writing essays (yes that specifically), and will be for the next couple of weeks! fun :/ - tho i'll be writing some chapters and finishing a bday fic this weekend, so I won't have to focus on that instead of 'important' things (hope you like this anyways, even if it is 1/3 of a chapter)  
> -

Dan hadn’t found it too strange that Phil didn’t spend all his free time with him, nor that he went back to his own house after his night out that Sunday. No, it seemed to have come from Phil’s good judgement, and he was determined to not take it personally: to not be hurt. 

That didn’t mean he didn’t feel a pang of loneliness each time he found himself too absorbed in the absence of Phil’s deep voice and beautiful laugh, or each time he instinctively wrapped an arm around his midriff while standing, as he often would lay his hand on Phil’s while he was being hugged by him from behind.

When he found himself waking that Wednesday morning, a week after he moved in and only three after sunday, almost expecting sounds of movement from the kitchen, or even a warm, tall and lanky body next to his own, he immediately found himself sinking back into his pillows, blushing with the duvet covering his head. 

Not long afterwards did disappointment wash over him, and the silence settled in as his realisation did. He was just another sugar baby with a sugar daddy that liked to show affection. What more had he expected? He shouldn’t, and Phil was a wonderful person and all, but that was all their dynamic was about. Company and favours, in exchange for money. For a full second Dan even found himself loathing the contract, and then he remember Phil’s thoughtfulness that went into it and his utter need to make Dan comfortable, and he fell down again into the dreaded pit of heartache and longing for the person he hadn’t even known that long.

He did eventually get out of bed, but then studied himself in the mirror for longer than it would actually take to make breakfast, wondering which parts of him Phil could possibly like the most. He’d have to find out, if he really wanted to make his dynamic with his daddy work.

He checked his bank account for his usual payment, and then went downstairs fully clothed, feeling _shrill as a bird_.

Rather annoying, obnoxious, and chipper, that is.

_Definitely._

**_10:57 - Phil: maybe you could come in to my office?_ **

**_10:59 - Phil: you meet me here, we could go out for lunch together_ **

**_11:00 - Dan: sure!_ **

**_11:01 - Dan: if you’d like it, daddy. sounds nice_ **

**_11:02 - Phil: and you remember the address, baby?_ **

**_11:03 - Dan: of course phil lol_ **

**_11:04 - Phil: I’ll see you there_ ** **_@ one_ **

When Dan found himself without any ingredients in his cupboards to make lunch Dan was thoroughly worried and anxious. He hadn’t wanted to disturb Phil at first by asking for money, since he was in a meeting again, and had just sat on the black leather sofa biting his nails instead of acting or coming up with a different solution.

Then he’d gotten a text from his daddy, asking what he was doing, if he was ok, and what food he was making for himself (as at that point Phil had found his baby was a really good cook with many dishes in his repertoire, and he was incredibly interested in ever part of his life.)

Finding himself unable to lie, seeing as Phil was always so nice and caring, even if he hadn’t wanted him to worry or disrupt his focus in any meeting. Once he’d told him, he was offered to eat lunch with him, and he wasn’t about to turn down eating in a fancy restaurant, with _Phil_ of all people.

Nice, caring, gorgeous, hot, handsome and charming Phil. Dan had found himself falling harder for his new daddy, than he had for anyone else in his entire life, and it was accelerating to know the feelings were mutual. 

Now he was sitting in his private ride, a new driver in the front, rolling up to a fancy and shiny, metallic, and glassy skyscraper.

It was slightly intimidating, to see the office up front, and despite his expensive clothes Dan instantly knew he’d look and feel out of place, just by seeing the exterior of the building. 

This was the type of place where each employee would wear fancy suits and dresses, and never let their guard down when it came to walk and appearance. They all fit into the prestige required in such a place. Dan on the other hand, with his black, loose, and deep v-neck jumper, and form-fitting skinny jeans.. not so much. 

Still, he wasn’t _too_ scared. He was ‘together’, or whatever the phrasing of their romantic and sexual relationship could be, with their boss, after all. He had nothing to fear.

When Dan entered the wide entrance hall, the first thing he got was stares, and whispers carelessly thrown in his direction. Almost immediately his careless attitude was thrown out the window, and he went up to the receptionist as he had been told, just with his head ducked low.

Her pencil skirt was a dull grey, and her top an equally sad blue. The edges had a wavy pattern, almost invisible, but that was the most _unprofessional_ part of her ‘look’. She gave him a look up and down, eyes laced in animosity, before he was even able to collect his thoughts.

“Could you help me with the way to Phil Lester’s office?” he asked unsteadily, trying his best to be polite. The receptionist didn’t try quite as much.

“Do you have an appointment scheduled?” she asked and Dan felt incredibly taken aback by her air of rudeness, in a way he hadn’t ever before. “Because Mr. Lester doesn’t take drop-ins.. especially not from someone in such unprofessional attire.”

His throat dry, he couldn’t bring himself to respond, not without bursting into tears. His eyes were already burning, and he wasn’t sure who to blame for it. Sure, Phil and him weren’t boyfriends per se, but with the fondness expressed for him outside of the contract, he had expected a warmer welcome at his place of work. Especially with how nice phil was as a person, his staff being so rude and cold was a shock, and a splash of cold water to his face.

“So? Shall you tell me why you’re here or will you leave?” she spat, as if it was venom, and now Dan really didn’t want to let a noise escape across his lips.

And he thankfully didn’t have to.

“Mr. Howell?” carried Perkins’ loud voice from down the corridor. The two of them turned to face him, and Dan found himself faced with a professional yet warm and welcoming smile on a familiar face. “I’ll escort him up to Mr. Lester’s office, Janet. He’s the boss’ top priority.” he said, in a more serious manner, directed at the 

Half bewildered and half relieved, Dan followed the chauffeur to the closest lift, which was adorned with a sign saying _exclusive access only._ He supposed this must be ‘ the boss’ ’ private lift, and he was not an ounce surprised that it existed. Despite his charming, kind, and kinda quirky, likeable personality, Phil was still a CEO with a lot of security and a lot of luxuries.

He didn’t ponder on it any longer when the lift pulled to a halt. The chrome doors slid open, greeting them with a polished wooden floor, and a high gold ceiling. Chandeliers glittered high above them, making him thoroughly impressed. He knew wealth, but not of this level on display.

“Welcome to the shiny world of business, Mr. Howell. Though don’t be fooled.. there’s trouble here, as any other place.”


	6. baby steps pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan expected a warmer welcome. A scenario where he didn't get called a whore, a slut, nor a boy toy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: sexual harassment, 'slutshaming', swearing, sexual comments, dehumanization, self-worth doubt, homophobia

Phil never liked sorting paperwork. Especially not when his brother forced him to do it, and even less so when he felt he had more important things to do.

Like reporting people, which he’d already begun the process of; but mostly meeting Dan specifically. Still, if he wanted to get away from his stifling office and do any of those things he’d have to finish the stack in front of him, no matter how tedious it felt. The pages fluttered in the wind coming in through the open window, begging him to at least begin, and so with a deep and frustrated sigh he did.

Remembering how he’d disassociated himself from his sugar baby didn’t help his work flow, unfortunately. He felt a bit guilty, knowing he hadn’t even given Dan any reason for his distance and absence. He also knew that Dan probably didn’t expect him to, but acting a bit like a manipulative, detached asshole wasn’t his forte. And he cared about Dan, too. He really did.

A knock came from the other side of the door, pulling Phil out of his thoughts.

After wiping his brow and checking his watch, he moved the stacks of paper away so his face would actually be seen from the entrance. The room was pretty big, and most of the space open, but with his oak desk situated on a crescent platform above the rest of the floor it’d be pretty impossible to see him if a bunch of things were in front of him.

“Come in!” he shouted, leaning backwards in his chair. He had no appointments today -having cancelled them when he found out Dan’d be coming over- so it was safe to say he wouldn’t get caught out chilling on the job.

Light from the chandeliers outside in the hall travelled in through the growing crack, and to match it his smile widened once he saw the stout and proud figure of curly-haired Dan enter. 

Except it fell when he saw the timid look on Dan’s face.

“Dan.. what’s wrong?” he asked, trying not to make his voice waiver as he beckoned him over gently. Dan stood rooted in the doorway, still, and didn’t speak until it fell shut behind him, bringing the darkness to them again.

The atmosphere went just as silent and as tense as the lack of light made it seem.

“I- um. Well. Phil, to you, am i just your boy toy?”

-

When Perkins had left him in the hall, with only vague instructions to guide him to Phil’s personal office, he’d have thought he was going to get in big trouble. And now, as he was in a way in trouble, though not as bad as it could be, he regretted not asking him to stay.

Dan had so far gotten lost twice, and noone had come to look for him, so he supposed Phil had yet to be notified he was here. Or maybe he was busy in a meeting and nobody wanted to risk their job by disturbing him about such an unnoticeable figure like him.

If only they knew. If only they knew who he was.

And how much Phil cared.

Then again that thought of caring scared him, because of Phil’s absence in his heart and space. Few messages had been exchanged between them too, and Dan hadn’t wanted to be seen as pushy or clingy. That’d be rude, and is livelihood depended on his behaviour after all.

And his willingness to have sex, to a degree. Despite what the contract said about respect and consent, it was still a crucial part of almost any daddy-baby relationship. Including theirs. He genuinely hoped Phil wasn’t disappointed with him and their lack of sexual activity. Genuinely, he’d wished every night that Phil’s lack of initiation -or even Dan’s- wasn’t cause for his absence, or vice versa, or that there was any direct link there. 

The halls were many despite being on the same floor of the building, and they were all lined with the same fabric carpet. The ornate walls were rather beautiful and so when he wasn’t properly lost, Dan found himself gazing at the decorations and the results of hard work and craftsmanship displayed.

Then he’d found the supposedly right direction according to Perkins, and he met two employees who seemed to actually acknowledge his presence.

Dan would regret almost immediately that he thought that maybe they’d be welcoming, or help him out.

As he got closer to their spot underneath an alcove, just a few doors down from Phil’s office, he couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying about him. He had excellent hearing, and yet it never seemed to benefit him.

Maybe they just wanted him to hear.

One of them, with waist-long brown hair and chewing gum he was sure was forbidden, pointed ‘discreetly’ at him to redirect their friend’s attention. “Who’d you think that newbie is? Dressing real casual for this place, and this floor.” they said, a deep Californian accent noticeably seeping through.

Their friend, with a bob and an identical pencil skirt to the receptionist, answered almost immediately. “Don’t think that’s a newbie, sweetheart.”

“Oh?”

“That’s probably the boss’ boy toy or whatever. I suppose you’ve heard the rumors. New guy, yes, but not in a normal, _respectable_ way. He doesn’t belong here.”

“Huh, guess you’re right. Based on the _slutty_ way he dresses, with that deep v-neck and skinny jeans of all things, that makes more sense than what I was thinking.”

“How long do you think he’ll last then?”

“A whore like him? Who gets money on sexual favours? As long as he’s desirable or whatever. Always thought the boss’d date with respectable women in the company.”

“Never had much of a problem with guys, though, has he?”

“He’s never dated, Claire, so we can’t assume that. At least not with what his brother has said.”

“Wouldn’t call _this one_ much of a date either, darling. He’ll be thrown aside as soon as his asshole gets too loose and wide, or his moans too unsatisfying, or whenever his sexpositions are too uncreative, or-”

At that point Dan had practically speedwalked away, putting on as neutral of an expression as possible to not alert them. He could feel his eyes sting as if infested by hornets. A physical ache had overcome him, hearing their words. And while he knew some of them were absolutely not true, and he had yet to even engage in intercourse with Phil, his daddy, well… it still did hurt to hear himself being talked about like an object.

He’d have to bring this up with Phil, wouldn’t he… He just wasn’t sure how.

Wiping away the building tears, Dan raised his fist and knocked on the door. He didn’t bother to look back. It already stung too much. And still he dreaded what stood in front of him.

-

Dan took another deep breath, visibly steadying himself. Phil didn’t want to interject. He needed him to speak. He needed to let him let his cooped up emotions free, since they were birds about to take flight into the free, open sky, and that’d hurt if his ribs were pried open by force.

“Am I- am I a slutty little whore you’ll be paying to fuck and use, and who you’re just going to throw away and replace once I can’t sexually satisfy you any-anymo’…” His voice died on his lips, barely ending in a question mark, his gaze still forced to the ground. 

Phil felt his heart shatter a bit. Not because of the assumptions about him, oh no, but for Dan’s reaction to said assumption. 

“I’ll assume you didn’t assume this yourself, even if it’s potentially in correlation with my absence for the last couple of days?” he asked gently, not removing his eyes from Dan. This was important, and certainly more important than any paperwork. He ignored the leaflets that had fallen onto the ground in his shocked stupor.

No response, and his brittle chapped lip just got chewed out more. It seemed almost like the earth would collapse beneath his stare, and almost like Dan did actually want it to swallow him whole. 

“Because in a thousand years, or in any universe, that could never be true. I will not blame you for thinking so, seeing my latest non-pristine behaviour, but I’d very much like to regain your trust in me. If that’s alright. With you.”

A little shock dawned upon his features, but then relief flooded his gorgeous chocolate eyes.

Phil smiled, about as encouragingly as he could muster. His baby finally began to walk towards him, though a bit unsteadily and hesitantly. 

“You wouldn’t mind telling me why you came to think so low about yourself?”

Dan froze in his tracks, but he seemed to melt at the literal puppy eyes Phil gave him. He took a few final steps and leaned against the table’s ledge, still trying to keep a bit of that careful distance. Phil was going to respect that, as he’d promised, and as he wanted to.

“I- well, I met some employees of yours out in the hallway…” This perked his interests. Very much. “Met is maybe a strong word, I suppose. They, uh, they said some things about b-both you and me as I walked past and. Well. You can guess what.”

“Please, tell me what. I value your opinion and your witness statement.”

Deflating at his words, Dan gently took Phil’s hand and then looked away again, to shield the hurt that had flashed through them.

Then, as he recounted their words, Phil’s skin boiled and his stomach simmered and he saw red. “Nobody should ever be allowed to say things like that about you, Dan. About us either. Or anyone, really. If you ever hear a pipe of it please tell me.” he said, barely able to keep the venom out of his tone. “Dehumanizing and disrespectful is all it is. No excuse.”

“Guess I will. I do agree with you on your point about dehumanization. If you wondered.”

Phil swallowed the bile in his throat, and then spoke up again. “That’s two more cases of harassment to add, then. Could you please pass me my folder? It’s the red and yellow book on the left corner of the desk.” 

“Two _more_?” Dan questioned, rightfully raising his eyebrows and looking horrified.

“When I was out.. another businessman said some gross things about _somebody else_. I began writing a report on them this morning” he responded as he folded and flipped through the pages to note it down.

Dan nodded, deep in thought and his face creased in a concerned way. “Serves people like ‘em right.” 

“So-” Phil said, wanting to simply shake the anxiety off himself. “Ready to wash this down with some drinks and lunch?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely, matey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know of a family member or potential character you'd like to see another pov from.. i wanna write that into the fic but i'm not sure who'd be a good choice


	7. baby steps pt.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil leads Dan to lunch, and feels things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff? fluff

London’s bitter winds may have been acting up around 1pm, but as usual that didn’t bother Phil. 

Maybe a little less than usual, actually. Dan was by his side, wearing his jacket to protect his bare skin, and his closeness was comforting. If he thought his feelings were strong when he was being worried and guilty, then it was nothing compared to realising how much he’d been missing him once relief came upon him once again. He enjoyed Dan’s company, as much as he said he enjoyed his, and at this point Phil had realized his feelings were building to be more than just typical attraction. 

They may only have been a week and barely a lunch into their acquaintance, but he felt so strongly for his baby it was almost indescribable. He wasn’t even sure it could qualify as a crush. Not that adults did crushes anymore, either.

Tinged and blemished from the cold despite being bundled up, Dan looked utterly adorable as he tried to hide his chin beneath the collar, his pink cheeks perking up. They still had a few more blocks to go, and he had yet to respond to his whining with the real reason he chose a restaurant so far away from his office.

They passed a river bank, stopping to watch the ducks dive into the freezing water. 

“They’re so cute, with their green, featherclad faces and everything!” he exclaimed, entirely out of his business character. Dan chuckled and shook his head at him, making him flush in slight embarrassment over his childishness, and then they turned away to keep on walking.

“You’re really cute, y’know.” he chuckled, words barely escaping his lips.

Phil brushed his curls behind his ear and then clasped his hands again as they walked up a flight of stairs. He never wanted to watch the small smile on his face fade. “Did you know you are, too?” 

That shut him up, and good.

The streets rolled on and passed them by, on the same beat as the cars they’d occasionally see. He’d intentionally chosen the backstreets for their route, because there was no other way for them to go undisturbed.

Not ten minutes later did they pass another bank, this time stopping for a longer time underneath an alcove. He was just about to fully faze into spacing out, unfortunately staring at Dan’s lips, when he spoke up.

“Did you mean that?” he asked, breath tickling Phil’s face. Beneath his hands, that had somehow moved from his grasp to his chest, Phil felt his own heart beat. It did a somersault in his chest at the words, just like every time he let his eyes linger for too long on Dan’s face, his dimple, freckles, blemish, or curls alike.

Swallowing, he realized his saliva tasted sugary and sweet in an overwhelming way. Dan’s tongue darting out heightened the sugar spike that suddenly rushed through his blood. 

“Of course I did.” he responded, hoping desperately his pulse wasn’t too concerning. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have said it.”

Dan let his hands drop then, a sigh treading on the line between amusement and relief escaping across his pink lips. Honey swam in his nutbrown eyes, stark and reflecting as the sun bounced off the water.

Nervousness settled in Phil’s bones when Dan suddenly ran his fingers through the slots of his own. A smile played on his lips while they walked, and because of that and the warmth on his neck he didn’t dare ask what it was for. Why it came so natural to him, with Phil.

The jitters didn’t go away when they reached the facade of Green Dragon. He took pause outside, excusing it as needing to catch his breath. Despite Dan’s raised eyebrows he shook himself off, trying to get a grip on his racing heart and building emotions.

Successfulness would have to be observed at a later time, he thought, and then he slipped inside following Dan.

-

Dan wasn’t quite blown away by the restaurant Phil had chosen, but maybe that was for the better. It gave him time to observe the person, rather than the physical objects around him. Unless he really needed to distract his eyes. Phil’s collar really was overwhelming whenever he wore button-ups.

He wondered if his own -nonexistent- collar was overwhelming.

Sitting opposite his daddy seemed even more appealing than sitting in his lap, too, because of its intimate nature. And then he could gaze into his swirling blue eyes.

Green Dragon was a stereotypical romantic restaurant. Red lights and candles, two persons per table unless you really squeezed yourself into the sofas by the walls, and waiters who’d probably signed contracts to leave couples alone and not snoop.

Paying that no mind however, he watched Phil flip through the binder given to them by the waiter. With his tongue poking out of his teeth in concentration, and his straight hair still slightly frizzy from the wind, he looked like the epitome of messy perfection. As always.

In the dim lights that didn’t quite light up his entire face, the yellows and greens of his irises were barely visible. If he had to describe them right now he’d call his eyes oceans.

Flipping the menu shut, Phil caught his gaze. Despite his own wide eyes giving it away, Dan was glad he didn’t call him out. 

His expression was carefully neutral, excluding the quirk of his lip. That was old news, as it was a typical addition to his face.

“So, anything interesting?” Dan found himself saying to break the silence, before taking another sip of the chocolate milkshake Phil’d bought him. Based on the erratic movement Phil’s eyes made, his gaze followed his lips to the tip of the straw, and down, before darting away. 

He decided to not take advantage of that, this time. Teasing him in public, despite their privacy, wasn’t fair on him. And it couldn’t lead anywhere.

“Well, there’s fish and chips, and some other similar dishes, if you’d like something traditional.” 

There was a pause as Dan took another sip. 

“Or you could get their, uh, noodle mix? Not sure what it entails, never had it before and all..” he said, frantically arranging the salt shakers. He kept his mouth quipped shut, trying not to read too much into Phil’s reaction to it.

His eyes found an abstract painting across the floor. “What do you want? I’ll get anything, really, so I can just have the same as you.” He sipped again, pouting his lips and hoovering up the pieces of chocolate with some extra force. 

Phil’s gulp was audible. “I- well- yeah, that’d be okay with me.”

Calling the waiter over, Phil ordered, very obviously trying not to stumble over his words and keep up his professionalism for a little longer. His head fell into his hands once they’d left, and Dan tried to not have a chuckle escape.

“Is this a date?” he asked instead. His blue eyes peaked from beneath the hand that had recently been intertwined with his own. He longed for the warmth of his pale, tepid skin and the jitters that ran up and down his spine.

“Hm?”

“Is this, like, a date. A proper date.”

A small, shaky smile danced on Phil’s plump lips. “If you’d like it to be, then it can.”

“And what about you?” he asked, steadfast in his every word. “Would you like it to be a date?”

Giving his full attention, finally, Phil reached across the table and clasped his hand in the same way as before, just with a bit more determination. “I do.”

“So do I.”

The smile on his lips was breathtakingly wide, and Dan could see his own pristine teeth reflected in Phil’s beautifully blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be making some edits on the works and chapters as it seems I've made some weird references with the times etc... it's only February, no matter what else you may have read!


	8. rolling in the sand pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings linger, and Phil has plans

Asleep in bed that night, Dan’s hand still tingled from Phil’s gentle, caring touch.

It had become apparent, which was rather strange to him himself, even, that he seemed to care more about Phil, his closeness, and his affection than his money. That he’d  _ rather _ care about that than any luxuries Phil gave him.

A date, he’d said. A date.

Dan’s stomach flipped, and so did his heart in his chest, as he thought of his weatherbitten hands clasping his own, his pink lips, and his timid, nervous, deep voice telling him everythings and nothings.

He wished he was here right now, sunk into the mattress beside him, breathing nothings into his ear. He wished he’d always be.

When he woke, the crispy and last frost of the season clad the windowsill. 

Of course it had rained the night before. Puddles, reflecting the dawn and the morninglit streetlights, littered the sidewalks and roads of the city. Even the leveled, cobbly streets of Bedford Gardens were infested by the weather conditions.

Dan felt glum watching the grey outside world from the kitchen window. He’d woken to a start at an hour when Phil wouldn’t even be able to receive voicemails unless it was an emergency. So while he certainly was attached enough to think desperately missing his daddy was one, he supposed his daddy wouldn’t take so kindly to being woken up when his baby wasn’t in danger.

That had banished him to a spot in the windowsill, knees to his chest, longingly staring at the blinds of the house next door and waiting diligently for the lights to go on.

The tugging beneath his ribs, embedded in his muscles, veins, bones, and heart, became more and more unbearable as time passed. While it was still only the wee hours of the morning, the longer he went on being restless and without a sign of Phil, the more exhausted he became. Emotionally and physically. At least the pajamas were comfy and expensive.

Beyond the horizon and the grey curtain, that shielded London from external force, the sun rose slowly but surely. Warmth clung to the thick, moist air like a koala to its tree, and the clouds were tinted a juicy pomegranate colour in no time at all. It reflected in the dew on the ground two floors down, the frost on the windowsill, and exaggerated the shade of the brickwork. 

Finally, finally, as the streets began to move and the city properly woke, a bulb clicked on on the bottom floor.

His mind needn’t debate going, but he didn’t even have to either.

The phone went off. He was on his feet long before the second ring was able to deafeningly explode through the house.

-

Phil could feel the reminiscence of Dan’s lips on his cheek. Like a phantom, it lingered, and he could feel it right through his bones despite not even touching it with his hand. It simply sat there, invisible in the mirror when he studied his face, but there nonetheless.

Despite so many hours having passed, it still felt like Dan’s soft breath echoed in his ear as if he stood next to him. Wherever he went in the house, last night as well as during the early hours of the morning, a heartbeat thumped against his chest that wasn’t his.

He shook his head, trying to make it go away. He’d really have to get a grip.

The blinds in the hall next door had fluttered open quite some time ago, but Phil was still scared of going over. he was even scared of alerting Dan to his presence. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he just wanted Phil to- 

Deciding to not dwell on his fears, he finally clicked the light on and picked up his phone.

A soft, unsteady voice crackles on the other side of the line before reaching his ears. “H-hello?” The uncertainty in Dan’s voice both dug lines into Phil’s heart, as well as lit up his smile.

“Hi Dan!” he began, feeling a bit of that shared nervousness run through his veins, like a sugar rush. “So I was thinking.. I have this shoot today, with the company, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with?” 

  
  



	9. rolling in the sand pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ocean may be blue like Phil's eyes, but they'd rather get lost in each other's gaze

Their walk from the bus stop to the secluded beach was way too short for Dan. He needed more time to prepare himself. And more time to recover.

_ Want you there,  _ he’d said.  _ Somehow, in my recent life, I find myself never wanting to do anything without you. Even though I don’t know more than a fraction of you, you’re everything to me and it feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime. A lifetime, Dan, in less than two weeks. _

Feeling a little dazed by his words and sentiment, visibly so, Dan let himself be led by Phil through the streets of the small town. The photoshoot they were going to oversee would take place in about twenty minutes on a private beach the company owned. It was actually legal to swim there, and so it had been suggested by his daddy that they stay afterwards, even without touching the water. He’d wholeheartedly agreed.

Seeing the pretty, intricate architecture on each and every building, from Victorian brickwork to art-deco and cottage-esque one-floor plans, he was fully disappointed in himself. Had he not been gawping he’d have heard wherever it was that they were.

A photographer and two of Phil’s employees met with them at the site. A quaint house of white wood stood facing the ocean on a hill above the beach, its shutters open and painted visibly blue.

While the photographer and Phil set up the set, one of the employees and Phil’s friend, Louise, caught Dan alone. She had blonde hair and brown eyes and seemed generally good-natured, a glint in her eye.

“Don’t think I’ve been told your name.” she uttered enthusiastically, gazing up at him. “You’ve been the talk of the town so to speak, but even though Phil’s my buddy and he’s been visibly more happy, I tend not to believe rumors. So do please tell me a bit about yourself, quench my thirst for knowledge about the person of his lovestruck affections.”

He spluttered. “The person of  _ what _ ?”

The wave of Louise’s pale hand told him not to be bothered, but he could still feel his neck heating up. And not from the sun. “Just go on, please.” she chuckled. “I need to put a name to your face, or else we can’t be proper friends, now can we!?”

Dan found she was a pleasant and humorous person. While it took quite the chat for him to warm up to her, unlike the way he’d easily clicked with Phil, he was certainly not against befriending her. She did share some of their same interests and kept quite a few fandoms in her repertoire, and clearly it made sense that she was friends with Phil. So despite her affinity with gossip -no matter what she’d told him before- she was nice and kind and he felt like warming up to her came like third nature. 

If getting to know Phil was second nature.

She had to run off and help her colleagues -she was a technician and makeup artist- and so left Dan alone after her short but pleasant, and only mildly invasive, interrogation.

Occupying himself with the fluffy neighbourhood strays that had free reign of the area, the two hours of preliminary shooting went by in a flash. Until he found his name called by the second employee, Samantha.

Sprinting up the rocky stairs to meet him, jumper dusted with sand and hair tangled by the ocean breeze, she caught the railing and his arm at the top until she wasn’t out of breath.

“Daniel- Mr. How- Holl- oh whatever your name is. Mr. Lester wants you down by the pier.” she gasped, finally rising to her full stature. 

She was almost as tall as him, but her skin was darker and so clear it glittered in the light. Based on her objectively gorgeous looks, professional outlook, and status within the company he hoped dearly she wasn’t someone the employees considered his superior competitor. If she wasn’t he’d very much like to be her friend.

“Oh of course! I’ll be down in a second, Ms...”

A crooked smile split her features. “Ms. Krosch.” He gave her a kurt, polite nod, and took a few unsteady steps down from his spot.

Just as he was about to pass her on the step, she grabbed his arm and pulled him close. “I wouldn’t be so worried about him. You’ve got no competition, and I’m sure you’ll realize that soon. Just beware your jealousy may get you into more trouble than you’d have guessed.”

A bit frazzled, he stumbled away from her. With a grimace for farewell, he descended, leaving her at the house. 

-

Reaching him with a slanted smile, Dan slotted into his side as he finished talking to the photographer. They eyed them suspiciously for a few seconds, before returning his smile. Even more flustered, Dan shied away and into the crook of his collarbone. Phil found himself chuckling at it.

“-and so it’ll be finished by next week.”

“That sounds good.” he responded. “Really, really good, actually. Care for a cup of tea over that?”

They laughed heartily. “Oh no, not now nor then, unfortunately. I have family matters to tend to.”

“That’s quite alright.”

“Well, I should get going. Seems my ride's here.” they finalized, pointing up to the main street where a car stood parked.

They waved each other goodbye, to Louise and the others too, Dan still with his head pressed up against him. 

“For Valentines day next week…” Phil chirped up, letting his mostly free hand twist the hem of his shirt. “I was thinking, and only if you wanted to, really, that we could go for another date. More of a proper little thing, all pre-planned but still not too formal, so we can celebrate for more value than you’d get in a box of heart chocolate.” 

Dan nodded against his shoulder, before bursting into laughter. “They really are expensive, aren’t they!” he chuckled. “I once bought one that was less than half-full, and the quality wasn’t even worth the 

“Exactly my point!”

With it they stepped down from the small patio in the middle of the beach, with Phil instinctively making it for the cliffs. He’d spent quite a few years of his childhood here, on the private beach, when his family stilled lived in the country and the area wasn’t only used for business matters. Like today. 

They laid down in the sand, after slipping of their socks and shoes, and there they laid while they talked the minutes away.

The sunlight kissed Dan’s skin, blotches of tan and rosé beige lighting up. Fluffy white clouds drifted across the blue roof above, encasing the pastel view of ocean, trees, and cliff. It made a feeling of serenity and peace settle in his chest.

His thoughts, good and bad in many ways, imposed on that feeling. There were many words on his tongue, but maybe it was too soon. Maybe it was too forward.

Beside him Dan let out a puff of crispy air. Phil listened to their chests rising in sync with each breath, his pulse steadying when his fingertips found others instead of sand.

Now or never. His smile broke out with a shaky inhale and a laugh. “I’ve known you so shortly, and yet your eyes draw me in, your touch is fiery on my skin, and the only thing I want need and crave is you by my side, as long as you’ll have me.”

Dan said nothing back, but his fingers traced upwards along Phil’s freckles, gently and adoringly. The language of touch could say a thousand words.

“Decisions don’t have to be done so hastily.”

The waves rippled, crystal clear and clad in foam. As the breeze grazed the earth with its touch, the sand moved beneath its forcing hand, twisting and turning as an entity while each individual grain bloomed before dissipating. Through his own breath he saw his emotions gurgle, and his pulse race. Tranquility laid on the earth, like within.

Turning in his side, Phil let his eyes wander. Like the trees’ bark and the rough, gravely earth, Dan’s eyes bore enigmatic secrets as well as care. They were a beautiful shade of brown, with a hazel, honey ring snaking around the black hole within.

Though deeper engrained, Dan’s freckles splattered like droplets from a crystal-like speckled sky. His curly dark hair was ruffled from the breeze, and fell over his forehead with a benignity unlike any other. 

A glint of mischief had appeared in his eyes while Phil’s were other places. The thoughtful look on his face signaled quite clearly that cogs were turning in his brain.

He admired that about him. Like so many things. Like  _ all  _ of him.

The corners of Dan’s mouth lifted- “You’re ridiculous, you know. But. I feel the same way.” he said. “So, cheque?”

Afterwards, Phil thought their laughter and shrieks must’ve echoed across the beach, and beyond it. In that moment, however, not even the coarseness of the sand getting everywhere could lower his mood. He felt invincible, and that feeling shot through his veins like a spear. Based on his pitch, Dan felt something similar.

They’d known each other for two weeks, Phil was actually paying Dan to stay, and he had every right to leave at any time. But they both knew that wouldn’t happen.

They both knew something different sparked in the air, and with care and communication they’d make it work. Forever, or as long as it did. Why? Because they wanted to. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> December 15th (third advent), chaptered


End file.
